Monday, March 2, 2009

Into the Tunnel

Wow. February was not a great blogging month. In my defense, things have been crazy. My goal for the book has been completion by the end of March, and edits through the month of April.

It is now March. The writer-guilt is stronger than ever. For the uninitiated, it's the feeling that you should be writing. At all times. Leaving the house is a bad idea, because it means leaving my computer behind, and leaving my computer means I'm not writing. Blogging properly has gone to the wayside, because it's writing something else. I'm not supposed to be writing anything else.

The book is turning me into an incommunicative agoraphobe.

Good news is, I'm healthy. I don't write well when I'm sick. Actually, I don't really write at all. I just sneeze and feel sorry for myself. It's hard being witty when you're congested. After an unhealthy December that put me behind, I'm at least holding steady.

And I'm over the worst of the "middle-of-the-project" syndrome. The end is truly near. I can see it. Taste it.

I've decided to start making a list of the things I'd like to do when the book is all finished and turned-in...

1. Practice the piano without feeling guilty.
2. Read during the day without feeling guilty.
3. Go out on a random photo shoot during the day (should be things to shoot by then) without feeling guilty.
4. Knit during the day without feeling guilty.
5. Acknowledge that Danny's been waiting for that sweater since December and still feel guilty, but better since I'm working on it.
6. Take a bath without feeling guilty.
7. Catch up on correspondence.
8. Make new throw pillows.
9. Iron. Feel guilty for not ironing.
10. Spend time with family and friends.
11. Go to the Art Museum.
12. Go to the Natural Sciences Museum.
13. Try new recipes.
14. Exercise.
15. Watch Mamma Mia! with my sister.
16. Sing along, just to see the look on her face.

It's possible that Mommy guilt and Book guilt are related. In my case, the child is quiet, but it's always there...

Truly looking forward to being done with this project. The next project runs closer to my personal tastes, content-wise. Having the main character (of undecided name) run around Portland, taking design courses and working in a bookshop has a lot of fun potential. Don't get me wrong, I like Plain Jayne. But it's definitely been a challenge. I think I've grown a lot as a writer, been pushed to write outside my preferences and create something likable anyway. For that, I'm pleased. Having a project, any project, going on this long is tough though. Looking forward to getting to that list!


  1. I'm no published author but I still feel the guilt when studying for chem test or anything not writing related. I feel like I should be writing, always, constantly. Sleep feels like a luxury I can't afford. Keep pushing forward. I can tell through this post that you're going to make it through to the end. Luck!!

  2. I get where you're coming from. Mommy guilt was a difficult one to work through and I struggled with it for a long time. It sounds like soon you can get back to your other hobbies and interests.

  3. Hillary,

    I'm a Christian Fiction Author. My books have been published by Steeple Hill/Love Inspired, Barbour, and The Doubleday Book Club. I recently blogged about appeal of the Amish novels in the Christian Fiction genre. If you don't mind, I'd like you to stop by my blog and post a comment here:



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